This Month's Meeting 20th February
- Pack float on the Waikato River, come prepared to get wet. Meet firstly at the Police Station.
- We have a DVD on River safety to peruse after.
- Lynette is going to update us on some new first aid equipment.
When a pager message requests a response to the pager number all Hamilton SAR members are to respond to that number with, name and either Yes or No for availability, eg "Gin is available" or "Gin not available". If you are going to be available later in day say name and time available from (24hr format or specify am or pm), eg "Gin available after 12pm".
The management team receive the messages from everyone and are able to collate how many we have available. While everyone is getting ready we have to give the response to Police SAR, this then determines whether they have to call out other areas. This is also very important in co-ordinating transport arrangements as it's not helpful if we get five yes responses, send those people on their way then other people turn up at meeting place and no one has any transport.
Alternatively, send Gin a txt to advise availability but the pager method is preferable as more than one management person can then co-ordinate reposnses (Gin might not be available or already driving).
We expect a response from all members with a pager, even if you are not available.
- If you are going away: Contact Gin with the dates you are unavailable.
- If you are unable to attend a training: Contact Matt Hassard.
- If you are unable to attend a meeting: Contact Gin or a committee member.
Pager Test Message
Reminder for all those members with pagers. The first of every month a test message is sent out to ensure your pager is operational, if you do not receive this message you should contact Matt.
Contact Russell if there are any changes to your contact details so the callout list is updated. Change of email address also needs to be passed on to Jake for the newsletter.
For a Laugh - Aussie Idiots
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and
wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank and
crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour,
told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either
have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
the Bank of Queensland. Happened in Noosa!
Number Four Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe
him. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two
Number Five Idiot
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The
first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.
Number Six Idiot
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The
brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Flexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on
videotape. Perth WA.
Idiots In Food Service
My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
Happened in Surfers Paradise!
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Melbourne.
Just An Idiot
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we
were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership Dubbo.